Yesterday, Don Miller wrote a post on his blog about one of his favorite poems, Purity, by Billy Collins. Here’s a link to Don’s post if you want to read the poem (which you should, if you want to understand this post at all…).
After reading the poem, I completely get what the writer is saying. And if I hadn’t, Don explained that it was meant to show that the best writing is done when the writer is in his most vulnerable state. That’s all well and good, but I still thought the poem was weird. I mean, it talks about a skeleton typing on a typewriter, wearing nothing but his penis. That is about as weird as it gets.
Anyway, the only way to balance the force, err, I mean, the world, is to write a response poem to this weird poem. My poem below attempts to respond to the weirdness that is the other poem (I don’t even like to say it’s name, it’s so weird…), but it does it in a much better way – with rhyming. Everyone knows that the best poems (and songs!) always rhyme. So here goes:
The only time I write is at my desk at work,
Monday through Friday, I consider it a perk,
To be able to write my blog posts while getting paid to do it,
Unless my boss finds out, and he decides he should subdue it.
I grab a Dr. Pepper from the fridge in our break room,
They’re free, so what the heck, two or three I might consume.
And I come back to my office, at my desk I do sit down,
I log right in to WordPress, and I start to go to town.
No, I don’t get naked, I don’t take off all my clothes.
If I did, and someone saw me, what would happen? No one knows!
I’d probably get fired, because I think I heard them say,
That they’d fire me if I pulled another stunt like I did on Streak-To-Work day!
And I’d never take my skin off or take my organs out,
‘Cuz honestly, that’s just weird, I don’t know what that’s about.
No, I just write the way I read, fully skinned and fully dressed.
With my privates fully covered (yes, I think that would be best).
So, Mr. Collins, though I figure that you’re much smarter than me
I just don’t understand why you write this kind of poetry.
It’s obvious some like it, since you’re popular and famous,
And I’m probably just some kind of poetry ignoramus.
But next time, when you write a poem, do something for me,
Make sure that it rhymes, and that there is no nudity.